Thursday, March 31, 2011

I am Where?

I realise this may sound incredibly dof (stupid) but I can't find me.

It's not so much that I am lost, but rather I just haven't caught up to where I actually already was.

Ever since My Girl was ill, my whole rhythm of life seems to have turned into a chaotic arrangement of activities with no melody.  I can't find the easiness with which my days moved, I can't find the deep night's sleep, I can't find the song in my heart in the morning.

I am not unhappy - please, don't think that.

I am frustrated. I feel like a continuous sentance with no commas or colons or full stops.

Just running on.    Saying nothing.     Going nowhere.

Not knowing how to find where I am, to carry on going where I was.


Friday, March 25, 2011

Beginner Bucket List

"Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans"
 ~ John Lennon ~

I like this quote - in general I believe it's true, but what about being so caught up in 'life'  that one forgets to imagine wonderful, faraway, maybe even vaguely impossible dreams of things that you would love to do in this life?

Planning for our trip reminded me that I am about to cross off the No.1 thing on my Bucket List.  I really enjoyed that movie and it’s made me consider what will my New No. 1 be and what about a Top 10?
                   Live. Dream. Plan.

·         See the Northern Lights (tick, hopefully!)

1.       Walk along the Great Wall of China
2.       Watch the running of the Bulls in Pamplona
3.       Go to an opera in Italy
4.       Read Tolstoy’s “War and Peace
5.       Visit the Buddhist monks of Tibet and their tigers.
6.       Sleep in a Bedouin tent. Watch sun rise/set over the desert.   
7.         Make a decent snowman in real snow
8.       Go to Oberammergau
9.       Try to be more organised...(nah, maybe not)
10.     Have a meditational weekend in an old monastery somewhere in the mountains of Spain.

I know that this list may change since I’ve only given it 30min of thought!
I’m OK with that.  ...
What's on yours?

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Weekend that Was - Hot.

Do you remember that I said we would be painting our house this weekend?  We did.  We are not quite finished but then it wasn't as though we had an entire week. The weather played ball, (and so did the cricketers and our rugby side!) the sun shone! It was a HOT weekend:  Sportswise and Weatherwise!   

My Man dashed off on Saturday morning at sparrow to go and collect our pre-mixed paint that we had chosen.  (While I watched the cricket, can't miss that, you know! Priorities!) Anyway, back to the paint. In the shop it had looked slightly browner than the olive green in the bucket - but we set off with great gusto, paintbrushes in hand, chairs to stand on, and a great amount of enthusiasm. This was dampened temporarily.

"Why? Why?" I hear you asking.

"Because" I say,  "BEFORE you actually get to paint, do you realise how many ODD JOBS have to be done to prepare?"

There are things to be spackled,  Painters'mated, things to be filled and drilled, removed, brushed and cleaned - it's like having to springclean outside the house before you can tidy it.  Does that make any sense? 

Personally, I think we did very well for two people and three days. He rollered, and I had the thrilllllling job of edging of windows, base of walls and behind pipes. We have one more big wall to do and then, ta-daaaaa, it shalt be complete!!

We have declared this the year of the house. When the house is painted, we have great ideas for redoing the garden.  My Man has created a spread sheet of  'dreams and schemes'  - a kind of  "to do" list for home. Some things we can do now ourselves and others are dreams that will need to be saved for and looked forward to.

The previous home we bought had been lived in by tenants who cared nothing for the property. The swimming pool was black and stuff lived in it - I'm not kidding!  The grass was thigh high and the paint inside and out was basically peeling off the walls. I think people thought we had lost the plot when we bought it, but we love a challenge and within a couple of years it was painted, the pool redone, the kitchen redone, the garden gorgeous and we loved every minute of the "Extreme Home Makeover".

Now it's time to continue with this home. 

It's the year of the house for this "Dream Team".
Bring out the checklist.


PS - we won the cricket.  Yay. Just saying .... it's our year!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

What the Heck?

What the HECK happened to this week?

Wasn't it just Monday?  What did I do this week?  I really can't recollect.

I think I went to the dentist. We won't talk about that. Although everything was fine.


And thats not even fair because the dentist I go to now has never ever hurt me.
Yet, I still break out in a cold sweat at the idea of going. 

What else?

I had to postpone coffee dates with three friends this week, which is something I never do. 
I've been working more hours than I am meant to - but I {heart} my job and so just carry on when I should leave. Especially now that I have all these a.m.a.z.i.n.g. plans of lessons and projects
I want to do with my kids.

We went for dinner with two great couples, one visiting from out of town
and the other from 'over the mountain'.

Whew. I give up. It's just been a chaotic week. It's been a great week.
I do feel a little like a hamster on a wheel. Before we blink it will be Easter - then Christmas!

I want to live this day and this moment....

Because tomorrow we paint the house....

And then it begins again....


Monday, March 14, 2011

Gym Confessional

Since I wrote this post – I have not set foot in the gym. 
       Isn’t that disgusting?           How did that happen?
In an effort to mobilise myself into some serious action I bought myself two new T’s for gym. 
Flip, who would have thought I would be SUCH a girl.

My Shiny New T's... wishful motivation?

Buying clothes to motivate myself… SO SO SO not like me.

As she says.....
Now let me get off this machine and find one that will tone more than my fingers!


Friday, March 11, 2011

Itchy Feet

I’m beginning to feel excited.

If our usual ‘modis operandi’ is anything to go by, we usually book flights a good 6-8 months before our holiday.  It’s nearly time to buy tickets!  

We are going for something completely different this time - we have always gone away in summer for starters, this time...brrrrr.... we are swinging to the VERY opposite extreme!

  • My Man wants to ski and loves to cruise
  • I want to see the Northern Lights and dog sled 
  • My Girl is desperate to snowboard
  • We are all really keen on the Ice Hotel!
So we are going to Norway.  All of our holidays have been stunning - yet as I think of them, the highlights of most of them have been because of the history involved, the architecture and the culture.  In this holiday, because I am "chasing the lights", a part of me feels as though I am chasing the Author. I want to experience something (and someone) beyond history, something (and someone) majestic and uncontrolled by man.  I want to see His breath dancing across the sky...

I am continually filled with wonder just because of where I live - I don't take for granted the beauty that is around me, nor seeing Him in it, but I am excited about experiencing something new and different. Very different!

We are used to scorching sun and that is the best! The idea of being wrapped in layers of clothing like a mummy is very odd, never mind only 4 hours of sun a day! 

An Eskimo Legend
"Auroras - or Northern Lights - are believed to be the torches held in the hands of Spirits seeking the souls of those who have just died, to lead them over the abyss terminating the edge of the world. A narrow pathway leads across it to the land of brightness and plenty, where disease and pain are no more, and where food of all kinds is already in abundance. To this place none but the dead and the Raven can go. When the Spirits wish to communicate with the people of the Earth, they make a whistling noise, and the Earth people answer only in a whispering tone. The Eskimo say that they are able to call the Aurora and converse with it. They send messages to the dead through these Spirits."

It's a lovely story.... but if I see them when I am there, I choose to believe that the Creator of the universe is waving hello and blowing me kisses!
Please feel free to offer any thoughts, suggestions or ideas if you have been that far North and can give us any tips!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


As I was drifting off to sleep last night my brain was still very much awake. I was mulling over various posts I had seen on FB and on blogs, talking about Rob Bell’s new book that will be making it’s appearance in September.  (Hopefully!)
How do we get to mudslinging members of our own spiritual family without so much as even reading the material before publically slating them and it?  We wonder why the world looks at Christians and find them unattractive. Between our attitudes for one another and our judgements on not-yet-followers, is it any suprise that people are not attracted to Christ?
When asked about my faith I never say “I am a Christian”. I say…”I am a follower of Christ”.  
That’s when it happened. I imagined a conversation with a person.  Have you ever done that? Rehearsed a conversation in your head?

Someone to Me:   “So, are you religious?”
Me: “I prefer not to think so, why?”
Someone: “But I heard you are a Christian?”
Me: “Well, actually I prefer to think of myself as a follower of Christ.”
Someone: “Really, does He have a blog? Does he tweet?”  Can I follow Him too?”
That’s where the conversation in my head ended – but the analogy started. 

What if HE did have a blog?  What would he write?
  • Would he ask questions like he did of his followers then – prodding them to think for themselves?
  • Would he write stories to illustrate his point and allow people to find the point!
  • Would he write out a "10-Steps to Succeed in your Spiritual Life" that needs to be strictly adhered to – No questions asked!  
Based on what we know about Him... which of these 3 are morely likely?
And, what if you did want to be a follower on his blog - would you tick the “Follow Publically” or “Follow Anonymously” box.
I know you are thinking that I am going to plunge into a speech about not being ashamed if you say "Anonymously"… (yada yada), but actually, I’m not going to do that at all.
We all know that people are wired differently. Some are naturally more outgoing and extrovert and others more private and conservative.  Don’t you know that He knows exactly how you are wired? Do you not think that He will use you as you are as long as you are willing? Stop trying to be someone or something else.
We are in him, and he is in us.  I don’t think Jesus minds how we follow him; the main thing is that we do follow.  How can Christ be attractive to not-yet-believers when we are so critical of one another?
It’s time to stop making judgement calls on other people’s spirituality, it’s time to extend grace, it’s time to show love, it’s time to show compassion and mercy.
It's time to be OK with questions and conversations.
It's time.
It’s time to be an accurate reflection of Christ in our family and in our community. 


Monday, March 7, 2011

Pointless Things To Do

Have you ever been browsing through books and one just catches you unawares - and you find yourself in hysterics, right there, in the middle of the bookstore - and the more you try to compose yourself the harder you laugh?

I am aware that one's sense of humour has 'moments', and what is very funny today may not have the same effect as the next day. Be that as it may, this book never ceases to make me smile, if not laugh out loud!

Years ago I bought this book called "Pointless Things to Do"
by Robert Thompson - it had the hysterical effect on me.

I know, I am not sure what to make of my sense of humour either ... but there it is!

"The patient" is well and back at work - life is returning to 'normal' whatever that may be. I am please to report that since we are getting some sleep and some sunshine now, the cabin fever is over and we are all alot more relaxed!

Life is good!
Peace and laughter!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Day in a Nutshell

I know that one shouldn’t wish one’s life away – and I am really trying to live each day in the moment like I said I would do in this post – but the truth is that there are moments that you just don’t want to make the most of – or dwell in. 
Today if I could have packed My Man up in a suitcase, I would have kidnapped him from work and gone somewhere thousands of miles away and not come home for a good while.  Since that wasn’t really an option, I decided I would escape by going to a movie on my own.  Never done that before! I went to the midday show of “The Kids Are Alright”.   Anyone seen it?  An interesting and thought provoking movie.
Tonight I’m going out for sushi with the girls – it could not have come at a better time.  I will not however, be eating any Handrolls! My last experience with them was enough....thank you!
I think I may still book for us to go somewhere far away – I can’t wait till next year.

Making my escape...
Peace. I could use some of that!