The best, not the worst. The beautiful, not the ugly.

Yesterday I headed out for a run to "My Tree".  (I don't worship it, in case you are thinking that, but it is a type of altar that reminds me of what God spoke to me before).

I really felt like I lost my grip on peace this last week. I took a run to my tree and just stood there for a while, I suppose waiting for Him. He never behaves the way we hope or expect him to. It's annoying. :)

Honestly I didn't hear my Fathers voice at all.  I took a few photo's (as I do in the forest), and continued my run. I felt better. It's always really good for me to get out. So even though I never had any epiphany at my tree, I was satisfied by the run.

I got home and checked the photo's. I decided to play with some of the effects and this photo is the one of my tree.  I did not choose it to look like this. I just clicked "Colour Point", and the app did it on its own.    It was when I saw this picture, with my tree green, and the surrounding trees largely grey and black, that I was reminded of this piece of wisdom:

 "The Lord is near. 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." 

(Phil.4:4-8)

*The Message version in Contemporary English, which I love as it's more relatable for today, can be read below.

I had allowed myself to be bogged down by news, by opinions, by statistics and information. It's wise to know what's going on, we cannot be ostriches - but when we focus solely on the negative, it becomes overwhelming. This text, together with this photo of the green tree in the bleak surroundings, reminds me that:

• You can choose where to place your focus
• The Lord is near
• He is with us in the bleak place
• We can tell Him our anxieties and fears. Pray about everything
• Replace the anxious thoughts with ones that are pure, true, right, admirable and lovely
• Focus on the Green, the Author, and peace will come.

He just gave me the recipe for finding peace! 

He always comes through - just not always when or where we expect it!

Because no one loves us like He does.

Cool Runnings.

Peace be the Journey.  

* Or from The Message:

"Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse."

Speak without hurting

About 25 years or so ago, a friend gave me a note that had the scripture in it, about allowing your speech to always be gracious and seasoned with salt - I asked her about it, and she told me that she had always appreciated my honesty, but that sometimes I could be a bit blunt and that not everyone understood that, and that I could hurt peoples feelings.

I remember feeling mortified by that, and at the same time so grateful to her for being brave enough to tell me something, that potentially could have sparked a very different reaction. I prided myself on being forthright, probably because it is what I appreciate most in my friends with me, and I thought others would appreciate it too, but I never wanted to intentionally hurt anyone or offend anyone.

I basically just breathed "God help me" at that moment.  I don't always get it right, but over the years I feel as though I do think about the other person before I speak - even though there are times I just know that a witty blunt comment would be so much more fun to make!

May 1 2020, was a cross-over day for me. I have never been confrontational on Social Media. I prefer face-to-face conflict where we can hear one anothers tone, and see the body language. Yesterday though I was confronted with posts that challenge my "new" self. I was torn, do I say what I think irrespective of whether it is confrontational, or not?  Do I let people continue to think I am this person who never ruffles feathers, or do I say what I think?

I decided, what the hell, let me say it, only to realise that actually my opinion is wrong, given without insight, and basically not needed or wanted.  At first, I was hurt, and then I was disappointed. I didn't expect that reaction. I even felt slightly betrayed by my own kind! :D  (I know, a bit dramatic, but hey-ho).   Why, if you post something controversial, can you not deal with controversy - or at least hear the reason for the other viewpoint?  Do you need to be in agreement with the person posting - is that the etiquette?

I feel like I just want to go back to my "old self", and post controversial posts just to get a reaction, so that I can react and be my old blunt self. Who gives a crap who I hurt.... But I cannot go back to being that person and I don't want to be like that, condescending and so cock-sure of everything, that it's their way or no way.

It seems that as far as controversial posts go, you cannot comment if you want to say something that doesn't verify the posters point of view.  Or that if one is known as a "controversial poster", then it's OK to make controversial comments because "that is who you are" and "how people know you".

But God help you if you are just an average person posting pictures of forests who suddenly says something confrontational - that will just not do!

SO this is my pity-party for today. I really want to post the come-backs and replies I had in mind. I was itching to. But I can't. Or I won't. Because speech, grace, salt... and all of that.

*I needed to vent, so this is just my private vent. I am not sharing it anywhere, so it is not a veiled "I'm frustrated at you" post.  :)

#Lockdown2020