Thursday, January 30, 2020

MIKA - AT LAST!


Anticipation
counting down months
weeks
days
hours.

Look at my calendar
Is it time yet?

It's here!
The moment, the hour, the day.

Comfortable shoes.
That's what's needed.
Nothing else matters.
Don't miss the bus.
Don't miss the train.
Don't forget to breathe.

A small drink
Some excited dinner chatter
Look at my watch
Is it time yet?

Long queues,
Languages I can't understand
I don't mind.
It's today.
It's finally here.
I look at my watch
How much longer?

Squeezing in,
bags are searched,
get another drink,
find a spot,
wait through the opening act.
Look at my watch
Is it time yet?

Hugged by crowds
shrugged by crowds
jumping, dancing, singing, laughing,
feeling fully alive,
feeling properly happy.

Afternoon blues
It came. It went. All in a flash.
On a high all day.
Hit the ground with a thud.
When last did I feel so "properly alive"?
"I'm content" I always say.

Content.
It's a safe place.
Not unhappy.
Not fully happy.
Just satisfied.
Content.

I look at my calendar....
when will I feel "properly alive" again?

* * * *




Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Rain

Looking out of the window onto the forest this morning, I saw flexing trees, sheets of rain almost whiting out my forest view, and I heard the thunder booming out.

I know that the next time I go for a walk, some trees will be uprooted, while others may show few signs of the hardship they just endured.

It made me think of life in general. Storms in life come and go. Sometimes the thundering voices around us yell that we are not good enough, successful enough, busy enough. Sometimes the wind of "doing" pushes us so hard to be productive, that it can feel as though we are flexed to breaking point. We continue with rain dampened spirits and cold numbing out any feeling. How we fare in these storms relies on the strength of that which anchors us.

While I was thinking about all of this, I remembered this clip I saw years ago, and I know for me, this was a reminder of how loved I am, and that I am well anchored in certainty.

Anchor yourself to the immovable that will keep you during the storm.
Hold on tight, and know how loved you are.

I cannot wait for my next forest walk.


......



Peace be the journey.

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