Thursday, March 31, 2011

I am Where?

I realise this may sound incredibly dof (stupid) but I can't find me.

It's not so much that I am lost, but rather I just haven't caught up to where I actually already was.

Ever since My Girl was ill, my whole rhythm of life seems to have turned into a chaotic arrangement of activities with no melody.  I can't find the easiness with which my days moved, I can't find the deep night's sleep, I can't find the song in my heart in the morning.

I am not unhappy - please, don't think that.

I am frustrated. I feel like a continuous sentance with no commas or colons or full stops.

Just running on.    Saying nothing.     Going nowhere.

Not knowing how to find where I am, to carry on going where I was.

Peace!

3 comments:

  1. Well, you may not have caught up with where you were before "The Illness" but you sure have uncovered a deeply poetic gift.
    I think its worth your feeling a little adrift if thats what it brings out in you.

    Just breathe.
    It'll settle soon.

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  2. I echo your mom's words...BREATHE....

    It took me nearly a year to get back my balance after we were thrown for a loop last year when my son lost his sight for a few months and was diagnosed with an inoperable condition. It felt as if we were just surviving not living. I believe that we were stretched in our walk with the Lord and that there was amazing growth in our walk...but the pain was so unbearable at times.

    Breathe, take long walks, spend enough "alone" time to find yourself again.

    xx

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  3. What an ordeal that must have been and so taumatic. I can only imagine what that must have been like for you and your family.

    Thank you both for your encouragement - I am doing a lot of 'breathing! - it's all good...

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