I've known at arm's length for ages that it was coming, but last night it hit me. Hard.
I suddenly realised that in exactly one month's time we will no longer be in our house, in our city, in our country or even on our continent.
It was as though a fog descended on my thoughts. "What the heck are we doing! I am terrified. Is this a mistake?"
I don't know if I am the only person that this happens to, but the middle of the night is not the time to start thinking like this. The enemy seems to love to take a small thought like that and drag up every mistake you've ever made and replay them to you. This makes the night long and miserable.
Eventually I just had to sit up a bit, open my eyes, give myself a good talking to and remind myself of precisely how present God has been in this whole event and that even the Main Manne in Scripture who were asked to move must have felt scared at some level, whether physically or emotionally - the fact that they were scared didn't mean that God didn't lead them, nor did it mean they didn't trust him, and nor did it mean that what they were doing, was a mistake.
As a friend said to me the other day "Fortune favours the brave" - I need to be brave this month.
I think being a little scared is probably human, and if I wasn't a little scared..... maybe that would be more worrying.
As scared as I am, I am completely at peace that this is not a mistake but a gift - a gift from One that knows how often we have dreamed of doing this and who is kind enough to help us do it.
Cool Runnings....Peace be the Journey.