Saturday, April 23, 2011

Miracles & Miniscual Moments of Doubt

I had never thought of going to a gynae and didn't have 'my own' - I did however, have a tremendous amount of pain.  A work colleague suggested going to her gynae instead of a doctor. I was dubious. Anyone who knows me, will know that I am not a fan of anything medical. I was prepared to put the pain down to something I ate, but after a few days, I couldn't stand it anymore.

I went. I was convinced I was dying.

He pressed around on my stomach and my heart was racing,  As he prodded, he asked some questions that I can't remember and then eventually did a scan.

"You're pregnant" he said "about 7-8 weeks". 

Not the words I was expecting - but I was thrilled. I had had no signs of pregnancy, no skipped months, no morning sickness, no being tired nor cravings.

My happiness was short-lived because his next sentence was "Unfortunately, you have what is called an ectopic pregnancy, which means that the baby is stuck in the tube. It won't be able to grow there and in a few days you will begin to bleed. This can be very dangerous, come in immediately and we will have to perform a short procedure to 'clean it up'."

I was stunned. How could I be so happy one second and so unhappy the next?

I phoned "My Man' at work and told him. Then I phoned my parents. I got hold of my mom during a homegroup or prayer meeting, but straight away I knew that there were people, some of whom I didn't even know, praying for us - and being strong for us. My mom was 1500km away and all I wanted was to get there - but I was a grown up now and this was something I would have to cope with with 'My Man'.

The next 10 days were a blur.  I remember every night coming home from work and lying on my side, and saying "God, please let our baby 'fall' down into place".  I know it sounds silly, but that's all I could think of to pray.

Ten days later I went back to the doctor, there had been no bleeding and I was feeling better. He did another scan and can remember a rather prolonged silence. Then he said something like "I've never seen anything like it before, never heard of anything like it before. You baby is perfectly placed and growing perfectly."

I can't remember what I said or if I said anything at all... I was just overwhelmed by the fact that our baby was perfectly fine - overwhelmed by this miracle.

FAST FORWARD TWENTY YEARS.

I had moved provinces and needed to find a new gynae. I was referred to a well known guy in the area so I went to him.  As is customary, they give you the third degree as a new patient, and the whole miracle of 'My Girl'  came up.

He looked at me and said something like: "He must have made a mistake, because that it is not possible."  I was a little taken aback and still offered to give him my doctors name to confirm, but he was adamant that what I was saying was not, well, true. He just dismissed it - and moved on.

As I walked out of his rooms, I thought, "It was so long ago, and he is a professional, what if he's right, what if I made a mistake, what if, what if, what if?"

My moment of doubt didn't last long, because those memories came back to me in a rush, God just reshowed me in a nano-second every feeling I felt, every phonecall I made, almost every prayer that I prayed, to assure me that it was Him.

The truth is, that in my moment of doubt, God 'did something' to my faith. He refreshed it in a way that may not have happened had my miracle not been questioned by someone who didn't trust that God could and would do that!

Impossible is Nothing...

So this weekend I am thankful for the miracle that the death and resurrection of my Lord achieved without which (and who) I would not have a faith or a hope.

I am also thankful for the miracle that is "My Girl", 21years old, independant, a joy to us - and of course, we are thankful that she is able to experience life.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Of Donkeys and Delightfulness

What a fly-by weekend!

It was the climax of weeks, months even of preparation of a project that I am busy with at school.

We left early and made the 2.5 hour drive up to the Donkey Sanctuary where the children and parents met and were treated to an educational visit around the Sanctuary. I had organised a programme for the day and I think that it went well - as the organser it's difficult to tell, but everyone seemed to have fun.



Late Saturday afternoon the children made the journey home and I'm willing to bet that they would have fallen asleep in the car!  I would have. 

We spent the rest of the weekend with my folks just chilling and chatting and doing alot of nothing!  Just what I needed....

Sunday we got home late afternoon, exhausted but happy.
Peace.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Printing, Pics & Painting...

I have got to adjust my Bucket List.

Before I die I want to organise my photo's.

No. This is not a joke. My Girl is 21. I have been married 23 years. I have 23+ years of photographs that I have had big plans for, for 23+ years.

In the days of Noah, when we took our "spools in to be developed" - those photo's are printed. Do not be misled into thinking that just because they are printed, that it means that they are in any way organised. Unless you consider them all cast into the same box / P'n P bag 'organised'.

Yes, I wasn't exaggerating when I said boxes and bags!
Now, in my day as a mom with a young child, I may have scrapped. I am put to shame by my sister who is a fabulous scrapper with three children. She has blogged (another recent invention, like scrapping, that wasn't around on the Ark) and scrapped her family life beautifully. One day when I die, people are going to haul these boxes out of the top of my spare room cupboard - thats if the boxes do not fall on their heads when they open the doors. They will exclaim "Geez, she barely put them in albums! What kind of a mom was she?"

Fast Forward to digital photo's. Oh, those are filed beautifully - cos I am a PC kinda girl. I like things organised in my workspace.  However, my challenge here is the printing. We have been overseas a few times and we have family get-togethers pretty often (I think) and I have stunning photos that are fabulously filed .... where we will never see them.

I did print a few after our first trip in 2005. Hands up those of you who know how your children change in 6 years? Ja..... so. I need not elaborate here.

Here are my photo frames that have been on my dining room table for about 2 weeks now. I had BIG plans to paint them this last week. 3 guesses to the answer to this question: "Did I paint them?" If you answered 'Yes' to that question - sis on you, you didn't read my last blog! *kidding*

Seriously, this is pretty much it!  I do need to get my act together!
I got so far as to choose some pics to be printed to replace old pics with ... and they are still sitting on my stick, waiting in hope, to get to the mall to be printed.

"Why?" I ask myself, is this soooo difficult to do.
Truth is, I don't know.... I guess it's a part of my 'disorganised self' that I've come to accept ... like I said I would here!

But, still, it's going on that Bucket List!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

It came... and it went.

Excuse me?
But what just happned to my week's school holiday? Huh, huh??

You know, the one where I was going to revarnish my lounge and passage floors,
the one that I was going to paint all my photo frames and print all those holiday photos,
the one where I was going to sort through my wardrobe,
the one that I was going to ..... 

Get the picture?

I didn't do ANYTHING that I had on my invisible 'to-do' list. What's that saying about the road to hell being paved with!  *haha...*

Worst of all, I can remember very little of what I did do -
but it was,
I do remember, a GOOD week!

Back to school on the morrow!

Peace.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Ozymandias

Watching the News the last few months, beginning in Egypt and, like a virus spreading to surrounding nations experiencing similar dictatorships, I was reminded of this poem, which is one of my favourites, by Shelley.

OZYMANDIAS

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Ironically, from what I have read, this poem was written about Rameses the Great, Pharoah of Egypt and speaks of this mighty dictator and all that was left of him in the end.  The theme really is that all dictators come to nothing – even if they had considered themselves indestructible.  (That is obviously a very simplistic overview!)

Pride is something we can fall into it without really knowing that we have until the Light shines into an area and you want to fall on your face with shame.  The areas that this ugly trait can trap us in seems infinite: Our position, our jobs, our wealth, our families, our educational qualifications, our background… more subtly, how many blog/twitter followers you have, how many FB friends you have and how many comments you receive compared to the next person!
What is that Proverb? “Pride goes before destruction,  a haughty spirit before a fall?”  –  this poem illustrates that – as does biblical history, not so? 
Some of the humblest people I have heard of are not people that put themselves on a pedestal and say “Look at me!” like Ozymandias did,  they are people whose lives force your gaze to fall upon them. Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, … three that come to mind immediately.
And,
of course, Christ - The perfect model of a servant leader.
He always had time to hear the voices and hearts of those around him. Isn't this a better way to be remembered than being a decaying thought in the mind of others?

Peace.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Random Ramblings

Sad news first... The Cricket World Cup is over... *sniff*  - What am I going to do with my afternoons now? Well Done India! You have an awesome coach - we should know. Next one is OURS!

Sunday was lovely. Started a new series at CG called "God Actually" exploring who God is. Left me (again) with a fresh appreciation for the majesty, grace and mercy of God - lots to think about and be thankful for this week!

Then, Oh My Shattered nerves. The sun has moved and now I can sit in a sunbeam in the lounge.

My winter sunbeam is sneaking in.
 This may sound like good news. Trust me, it's not good news for me! It means winter is on the way. *sniff*  Noooooo!!!! Not yet! I'm not ready yet.

It's pitch dark at 05h45 in the morning now. I can't even see My Man to wave him goodbye as he leaves for work... it's just plain sad.

The up side (it takes some looking for, but it IS there) is that I get to curl up in that sunbeam and read in the afternoon. I have just the book - I'm waiting for Rob Bell's latest "Love Wins" to hit the shelves.  I loved his Velvet Elvis, and this, his latest offering has caused quite a stir. So I am looking forward to reading it for myself.

Secondly, today is "One Day Without Shoes" which I decided to take part in. It is intended to make one more sympathetic to those who don't have shoes.  I have written more about 'walking a mile in another man's shoes'  here, please feel free to read it and tell me what you think.

Just checking the feet out...

Puppy too...

 
Do you remember the puppy? She is so big now!  My Girl is moving out in a few weeks and, no big surprise, we are keeping Puppy because she isn't allowed at the flat she is renting. Shhhh, don't tell anyone, we really love her now and I am quite thrilled that she is staying. The agreement is that My Girl will come and walk her atleast twice a week and take her to the beach to play.

I {heart} my boy!
Then today, I fetched My Girl during her lunch hour and we went to the hell-hole better known as the mall. Did all my shopping - got to the till and *FAINT* I had left my wallet at home. So, we made a game of it and put all the items back amidst much laughter. 

Not so funny is that I have to go out and do the shopping AGAIN! I wonder if we can't just have toast?

That's all folks. I told you it was all random!
Peace!