It's (Not) Complicated

Then.....and now.

I was going through all my CD's to see what I could ditch and came across this that I had written in 2005 in the midst of a really traumatic "Church" time....   

How have You loved me?      (John 13:34)

 What kind of love is this….

                      That has no complications

                                                                    No

                                                            ‘ifs’ and no ‘buts’,

                                                  an unconditional love….
                                                       Its all ‘in spite of’

                                                 and not ‘because of ‘ us.

                 What kind of love is this….

                          That knows me so completely  —-

                                               When I Walk,

                                                      When I sit,

                                                                 And when I stand –

                                                 who has me in the palm of His hand.

 What kind of love is this…

                     That loves me through insecurities,

                                                             fears   and     a n x i e t i e s

                            Who sees all that I can be – so continues to bring change in me.

What kind of love is this…

That forgives every thoughtless word …

                                               Every selfish plan devised….

                                                                   Every action unrequired….

                                                                                 Every lust and flesh desire?

 What kind of love is this…..

                      That knows every hurtful word received

                                        and then each bitter thought conceived

ALL OF THESE THINGS YOU SEE…

                                And YOU challenge me – 
                                                     Just Love...     and let it go.

     …So...

 I give you the hurtful words received,

                             the doubts and disappointments,

                                              the unmet expectations, anxieties and frustrations…

 and I ask You Lord –   May I love as unconditionally

                                                        And forgive without exception

                                                                   May I accept others as they are

                                                                              Understanding our imperfections.

In short Father………Help me love others as You have loved me.

* * * * 

23.3.13

Reading this now I am just so overwhelmed with how faithful God has been in the years since. As traumatic as it was, He used that painful time to bring me into a freedom I may never have known otherwise, so I am thankful for it.

I came across this Thomas Merton quote today...
"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

Thought provoking words from a guy who had lots of wise things to say...

Tuesdays Laugh

Still in Genesis, the group last night were looking at the animals getting into the ark.  We discovered that God brought the animals TO Noah, he didn't go and herd them into the Ark. (Gen. 7:8,9)

At this point one of the guys said, "Just as well because all the female of the species would have been running late", to which I could not resist the reply, ".... and the men of the species would get lost and refuse to ask for directions!"

It's great to know that God has a sense of humour and probably had a good laugh with us!

Lots of Nothing

I keep opening up a page and wanting to write.  Something. Anything....
The blank screen stares mockingly back at me.

I figured I would get my own back and just post a pic. That should shut up the whiteness of the screen.
For now anyway.

The God Who Waits

I've heard people question the grace and mercy of the "Old Testament God", saying that he was angry and without mercy and yet they see the "New Testament God" as loving and kind.

On the surface, if diving randomly into Scripture, one could be forgiven for thinking that, but this is the danger of reading randomly without context. On deeper study however, what one will discover is that Scripture is a love-letter from his heart to us, with his story poured out and how we are still part of it.   We will find too that he has always been, and will always be, the SAME God - loving, kind, just and merciful.

This was once again just brought to my attention in the account of Methuselah and the Flood. Methuselah's name means "His death shall bring" ... He was the oldest person to ever live - 969 years!

It's far easier to see God portrayed in a "bad light" in the Flood, than to see that that this was actually an act of mercy.

It's taken me a long time to say what only needs a shortish sentence actually:

The year that Methuselah died - the Flood happened.

For me it's amazing that God held out on judgement for SO LONG since mankind had become so depraved.  He waited for as long as he possibly could - it was his mercy that withheld judgement for that long.

He is loving - but he is also a God of justice.

This is a merciful balance.

Breathe

Still in Genesis.
Still marvelling on his breath giving us life
Still reflecting on being created in his image and what that means....

I came across this beautiful clip.
If you have 15 minutes, it will be 15 minutes well spent.

Nooma Breathe 014 by holer24

Wanted: A Willing Fairy - Will Pay.

I have a pile of ironing on the spare room bed, and I seem to think that if I close the door and come back the next day that by some stroke of magic when I go in again it will all be done. Kind of like the movie "The Prestige" - go in the one door and out of the other, except my clothes go in rumpled and come out ready. Often I take it to the laundry because I just  c.a.n.n.o.t   face it.

However, this has not been the case and the ironing fairies have gone on strike and left me to do it. I hate ironing. Hate. And yes, Hate is a strong word - but no, this is not a mistake - I really, really, really do HATE ironing.

I came home, set up the ironing board, switched the iron on, and then sat on the couch and looked at it for a minute, trying to find some ironing mojo....

To the average person it's probably not that bad a task, but when we first moved here, we arrived with neither of us having work. We both just felt that we had had enough of where we were, and wanted to raise Our Girl here. We arrived, bought our house and then, quite miraculously, we started our own business doing laundry for a major national airline, various hotels, restaurants and clubs. We did this for about 2 years until the airline closed down and with it our work. We went to the airport twice a day, once at about 04h30 and once at about 16h00. At 16h00 we would deliver everything that we had washed, dried and ironed from the 04h30 collection, and at 04h30 we delivered everything that we had washed, dried and ironed from the collection we made at the 16h30 delivery.

On top of that was also our other clients of bedding & tablecloths.

Essentially, we were washing/ironing for about 20 hours a day.  Later we were extremely fortunate in employing a fantastic lady that we trusted and we knew that she could stand in the gap for us when we just needed to get out for a cup of coffee together, or maybe have dinner with friends or family.

Anyway - all of this to say that this is why I loathe ironing.... It was purely I believe by the grace of God that we got that work when we needed it, and were able to do it. I wouldn't change this part of our lives ever because we learnt a lot about business, appreciating a good work ethic and discipline! However, I am not sorry that it is over.

SO now, I look up, obviously I am still on my couch (!), I see my ironing board, the iron is on and the pile is waiting, and while I wrote this, no-one came and offered to do it for me, so I guess it's going to be all me.

Let me stop procrastinating now - Nike would be proud of me, I am going to "Just Do It!"