Making Peace

Hey there!

How are you!?  It's been ages since we last had coffee together, chatted and laughed.  It feels like an eternity. 

I had coffee with your sister and was so glad to hear that you are well, happy and doing what you love.  She showed me a couple of photo's and you're looking awesome - (but then, I always knew you were awesome anyway!  :)) 

I wanted to write this to you because my word for 2013 is "MAKE" and to make peace is one part of it. This year I have chosen to make peace with what I can't change. It's been two years now that I have consciously refused to move forward, refused anyone else entrance into the part of my life that you had to leave, but now I have to make peace with the fact that who we were once, won't ever be again - but I hope that one day we can be something new. 

The fact that I have to move forward doesn't mean that I don't think of you often!  I want you to know that no matter what, no-one can ever take your place - I hope you know this. 

So anytime, if you are in the area, please give me a call, or pop in for coffee and a catch up. I'd love to see you.......

but if you never find yourself out this way, I understand, and I wish you all the happiness in the world!

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” 

― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Word for 2013.

My word for 2013 is...... "Make":

• Make time - to do the things that I love just because I want to, and can
• Make priorities - so I don't waste time with non-essential things
• Make appointments - to see people regularly
• Make peace - with things I can't change
• Make a difference - for the good whenever I can
• Make hay while the sun shines - take every opportunity while I can

• Make supper - well, because that I have to do!

* * * * *

End of 2012 happenings...

I can't believe that we are already firmly in January! The last month has been a blur of activity and things only now are beginning to feel as though I can catch my breath. A bulleted little list:

• Firstly - if you were in any doubt, the Mayans were wrong. (Just saying...)

• We celebrated our 25th Anniversary in December which was just fantastic! We decided to renew our vows this year since it's pretty much a milestone year.  I told a friend of mine this and her response was "Why renew them if you haven't broken them?"  I had never thought of it that way. However, we decided to do this because we wanted to affirm one another and just basically say "We still do!" to one another.  A friend of ours, Derick, officiated and we were overjoyed at the way he did it, highlighting that when we got married it was on a kind of "Here we go and filled with hope", but this time we get together before mutual friends and family to celebrate that we would still choose to be together even knowing the quirks of the other, the hard times and everything else we have adventured through together. My Man also was not a follower of Christ before we married - he was a good man and now he is a godly man and a good man!  We didn't say vows, but instead just spoke about the things we loved and appreciated about one another. We were given an amazing gift made by hand by Derick and his wife, with photographs taken personally by them while overseas. I was going to share what they said about the gift to us in detail, but have decided that it's too personal - so I will just tell you that the picture was of all different types of doors and he talked about doors of opportunity that will be presented to us, and that have been presented to us.  It was a wonderful evening to celebrate with My Man, friends and family.

Setting up for our Anniversary celebrations.

Putting on my ring! 

Our lovely gift and Derick speaking prophetically about how it relates to us.

Derick praying for us

My Cpt Dad making the toast for the occasion.

Toasting our friends and family and thanking them for being part of our journey.

• Christmas this year was spent with my folks up in McGregs, except this year EVERYONE was there: Both sets of my folks, brothers, sister, in-laws, some of the in-laws family, children and dogs!  It was a real occasion! It was also really hot - 35 deg when we arrived there at about 15h30 - thankfully they have a pool that we could have a dip in often.  We had to leave early on Boxing Day as My Man had to work the next day but it was a lovely quiet drive home with not much traffic.

Christmas 2012

• New Years we chose to do absolutely NOTHING. Not because there was nothing to do, but we decided to just stay home. We sorted through all our paraphernalia that we have collected on our various overseas holidays and separated them into different boxes and talked about our upcoming trip. I wish I could move overseas - I love it here, but just feeling like I need to get away for a while and live elsewhere in a new culture, language and traditions.

• My Girl moves home for a while this month while she looks for a new flat. Their lease was up and they didn't want to renew there, and so she will be home until something comes up. She is also talking about studying something this year which would benefit her too.

• Oh! And .... not wanting to jinx anything, but I have been "religiously" back at the gym for about 6 weeks and loving it. 

 I am excited about 2013 - I think it's going to be a good year.

I hope that it will be awesome for you too!

Cheers - to a great year!

Seeing... A Dying Art?

I have mixed feeling about Social Media and Texting. I love it on the one hand; it's brilliant for sharing and keeping in touch, but on the other hand, I am beginning to feel a few negatives.

1. Instead of being present in a moment of beauty, we take a quick look, capture it on camera, move on, post it to FB and say we've seen it. But have we? Did we really see it, did we sit down, absorb, watch and experience the moment? Or did we take the picture, go home and then try to see it.
2. Facebook is a very poor substitute for face-to-face, but a great way to keep in touch.
3. A negative in texting is that ones tone is completely lost. Not even a smiley face can change that!
4. Probably my main concern is losing the art of deciphering the language that speaks the loudest...  Body Language.

Look at me when I am speaking to you, watch what I am saying.
Seeing what I am saying often says more than what my words say.

There is a part of me that would like to just close my eyes and go back in time to before Social Media, when we listened to friends rather than read them.

In 2013 I want to ensure that I don't ever lose the art of what it means to be present in a friendship rather than a participant in a friendship.

"A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, 

gently allows you to grow."

 ~ Shakespeare ~

Darby's Castle

I had a lovely drive home from the airport on Sunday, having found an old CD I forgot I had.
I have always enjoyed Kris Kristofferson's songs.

As I was singing my heart out with Mr K,  I was struck with the spiritual parallel I found in this song.

Have a listen.
(Let it load fully first so you can appreciate and hear the words)

It's the story of a man who is very much in love with his wife,
and he decides to build her the most beautiful house of wood and stone.
He didn't want her to lack anything.

Soon, however, building the house became his obsession
and his relationship with his wife deteriorated.

It's a hauntingly beautiful song.

I wondered how often, out of our deep love for God
we find ourselves doing so much for him
 that we forget that intimacy comes by spending time with Him.

Let's never become so obsessed with doing for,
that we lose out on being with.

Merton Thoughts #1

I shared this as a note on Facebook a week or two ago, and it's still sitting with me:

I am busy reading "Contemplative Critic", a book on the life of Thomas Merton and came across this paragraph in which the writer is outlining the various people, books and events that influenced Merton's journey toward God. He writes this:

"It is perhaps always a bit disappointing when we look for answers to the question of God in our lives. We are left only with titles of books, names of people and a few old facts. It seems all a bit lean and superficial. God doesn't let Himself get caught in titles, names and facts. But he lets Himself be suspected. And therefore it is only the one who prays to God, quite possibly the one who searches for silence himself, who can recognise Him in the many little ideas, meetings and happenings along the way."

I love this. That God doesn't get caught up in stuff, but that he lets Himself be suspected.

I do believe.

But help me to recognise you in those little ideas everyday, in meetings and in happenings along the way. Let me find you not only in my busyness, but in my quiet too.

Entertaining and Accepting

Just because of who I am, I filter everything through a spiritual lens.

Years ago, "the church" (with good intention) sought to isolate "their people" from "everyone else", the result of this being that "their people" made the (incorrect) assumption that anyone who didn't think like them was unacceptable. Christians didn't entertain friendships outside of "the church" and refused to entertain any thoughts or views, other than their own.

The result of this is what we have now, where "everyone else" feels judged by "the church".

It was wrong. There, I said it. 

I really value my friendships (some in their infancy) with people from other faiths, backgrounds and lifestyles, and have found our conversations sometimes more rewarding than others in terms of honesty and vulnerability. 

We don't have to think the same, or accept another's view as our own for us to be friends and to share our lives. I think we just have to be honest. 

What do you think?